Pulling Out of Pre-School
I'm sad today because I made the call to pull Alec out of our church preschool. This is the school that has had my daugher for three years and Alec for two. The main reason is that there is no staff available to help him change a dirty diaper.
I ate lunch with Alec's teacher-to-be, who is also a friend of mine. I asked her point blank how she felt about Alec in the classroom. She said that in all honesty, she wasn't comfortable with it and didn't know how she could handle changing the diapers or a possible tantrum in class.
I'm really saddened because Alec has come so far and is so close to being okay in a mainstream class. I know he could handle pre-school, and he has already been through what I believe have been his worst years there. Now he is talking some and on the way...and now the help is gone.
"I guess you are saying that there is no place at our church's playschool for a kid like Alec", I said to the teacher. "Unfortunately, yes, that is what I am saying," she said. I thought church was for the "poor in spirit", I thought. She said that she wants to make sure all the other kids' needs are met. "What about Alec's needs?", I thought.
To be fair, the administrator, when I called, was very upset about it, too. She's been a big support to me through the years, and was even the one who suggested I get Alec tested in the first place. I know her heart is for the kids. But her resources and funds are limited. WHY? Why can't the church give more to this? That is my frustration, and hers, I believe.
"I know you are frustrated," she said, "because you feel like Alec is falling through the cracks." That's exactly how I feel, I told her. He is not severe enough to warrant a lot of care, but he needs a little more than they can give. But it's only someone to change a few diapers, really. He needs to be potty-trained, and although he can go in the potty, he can't tell me when he needs to or do it totally independently. So he loses. At least here.
But I know there is more for him. I know there is help out there somewhere. I pray I find it soon.
posted by K. Langston @ 4:29:00 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Hi. I'm a passer-by who stumbled upon your blog on the blogger's homepage. I'm really touched by your love for your son, and your conviction that God is going to bring you through this. You know what, He really will. I'm a psychology student and have read on Autism before, take comfort, Autistic is very much prevalent in fact, except that most parents prefer to hide themselves in denial of their child's condition, only to have their child's condition worsen! I'm VERY proud of you as a parent to have Alec's condition intervenied at a young age, I'm confident of a FULL recovery, what more with our Father's hands on Him? :) sometimes, we don't understand why things keep crashing and spiralling downwards, but i believe, thats God's way of turning our faces unto Him so that we may focus on Him completely, and so that, when He has His divine touch on Alec, we KNOW it has to be God. don't lose Hope my dear sister, but keep reaching out for His strength and may He renew your strength again and again, that you may soar on eagles wings. TRUST! :) *hugs*
ps. i have you and Alec in my prayers (all over at the other end of the world), hope that brings u that bit of comfort too :)
-jan-
By
teabag, at
8/28/2004 10:37:00 AM
i don't understand. your church preschool, doesn't want your son their, because he isn't potty trained? i have only read a few of your posts so far, so you may have already addressed this and i didn't get to it yet.
but if that is the case, how many 2 year olds are potty trained?! my son just turned 2 and he is no where even to that point. it is just changing a diaper, and it only takes a minute. it isn't like it would be taking time away from the other kids. maybe they are just using that as an excuse. but then again, i think i did hear somewhere about some preschools, that don't take children unless they are potty trained, but how does that help mother's who have to go back to work a few weeks after giving birth. then again maybe that is the difference between daycare and preschool.
anyways, i just want to commend you on your strength and your large giving, caring heart!
my prayers are with you and your family!
By
Jennifer, at
9/08/2004 01:07:00 AM
Hello...Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Our family is somewhat new to all of this...our Nathan was diagnosed with Autism. He will be 3 in a month. He has always had a very hard time in church and that has so crushed me. I always hoped that church would be the place that I find the most support....but I could not help but notice the looks of burden on the workers' faces when Nathan would arrive. I had helped in the nursery and child care for years with my daughter...and then Nathan. But his needs were to much too. We have since moved on to another church....and the Lord provided a speech pathologist who attends the church...and WANTS to be with Nathan during services...she ENJOYS being around him.....tantrums, dirty diapers, and all. She has shown Nathan unconditional love and acceptance...and piece of Jesus here on earth.
God Bless you and your precious son...
Deanne Nelson
By
Anonymous, at
11/04/2005 10:36:00 PM
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