IEP RESULTS ARE IN

I have been absent around here lately because of the preparations for Alec's IEP meeting, which ran for three hours on Tuesday and then recessed until Friday, when it ran another two. (whew.) Thank you for everyone who emailed support our way. It meant a lot to us.

What can I say about it? Well, I want to say that we had a LOT of prayer for it! Matt and I belong to a neighborhood Bible study group. (Not meaning to push my faith on anyone, just telling you the way things happened for us. I don't hold back on prayers for my family, and know we need God's help in these important battles!) When we arrived at the school, a man from our neighborhood group was there for support, and that amazed me that he would take time out of his day just to be there as we went in. The group had all said many prayers for Alec that week. So, I nearly cried when I saw him there, a friendly face just to give us courage.

The meeting included CMS's autism specialist, who was the high-level representative for CMS, two teachers from McAlpine Elem, Alec's 2004-2005 Pre-K (self contained) teacher and his speech teacher. We also had our ABA consultant, and my tutor, Julie, and Candice from the Council for Children, who heard my complaints about CMS not offering any autism classrooms on the P-K level, or 4 yr. old self contained classroom. When she introduced herself as being from the Council for Children, one of the teachers (whom I didn't know) looked like she was about to fall out of her chair.

It was a long meeting and everyone bantered back and forth. Matt and I expressed our regret that CMS was not providing the same type of classroom as Alec had the past year, which was working so well for him. We did mention that we were willing to go to mediation rather than have Alec attend the Bright Beginnings classrooms as they are, and stressed that we felt they were understaffed to handle all of the issues that will be in these classrooms. At that point, CMS offered an itinerant teacher to help Alec adjust to the classroom. My ABA consultant and tutor were shaking their heads "Yes, Yes!", so we decided to consider this, but had to break at that point for the day.

On Friday we met again, and discussion began on how much time the itinerant teacher would be with Alec. We finally agreed on 20 sessions per month. I think that this was about as much as we could get from CMS without going to mediation or court. We accepted this, along with 4 sessions of speech/week. We also wrote in that we wanted to provide a checklist form that we wanted returned weekly to see if every goal from our IEP list was addressed, to help us in working with Alec at home, and to ensure the goals we came up with for him (really good ones) were being worked on regularly. In short, I want the data, baby!

My ABA tutor, a student at UNC-C about to graduate, really was a star in the meeting. She knew ALL of the laws and procedures and recommendations (we had been researching for a week) and REALLY held CMS to them. She pointed out flaws in providing a continuum of services (meaning, appropriate options to choose from), NC Dept. of Public Instruction classroom size guidelines, which were smaller than what was being offered. I think this had a great impact on the direction of the meeting. There were no ugly words or arguments, but we didn't budge.

Now, about my fears about CMS. I have to say that the CMS representative was very reasonable, although we did have to have our homework prepared to get extras for Alec. She was not mean or rude in any way, and we spoke privately about the need for parents to be more involved in educational options for our spectrum kids. I told her a bit about what it is like to fight so hard for everything for your child ... for medical care, for pediatricians who will try to help, in insurance battles, and for appropriate education.

I told her that parents are so used to having to fight to get anywhere, and that is why we bring in an army of people to help our kids. That is why we are tired and angry. I don't know, of course, if anything got through. We tried to see it from CMS's perspective, but not to bend a bit on what we wanted for Alec. I went into that meeting feeling that it was an "us against them" situation, but felt that my opinion changed so that we would try to make it a joint effort. That doesn't mean accepting the first offer the school system gives. I believe you should ask for the moon if you feel its necessary for your child to get help.

I know that all might sound crazy or hopelessly optimistic, but I still have hope that things can be better, and that you win more people with honey than --- what is the clique? I don't remember, but you know what I mean.

We brought many things to the meeting: copies of research and NC statutes, the Win WIn IEP book (a great reference and huge help!), but the thing that I think mattered the most was an 8/5 x 11 print-out of Alec. It made everyone remember the reason we were there: for a real little boy. I'm going to do that in all of my future IEPs.

So where does that leave us? We only have CMS ... and the option of pulling Alec out completely for a full blown ABA home program. (Money, of course, is a great issue, as it is for many or most of us.) We feel that this could work for Alec, provided he ends up with a good teacher and that the kids in the classroom are compatible with him. So, it's gonna take a little more faith....

That's all I can say....I feel that we did everything we could, and that CMS did give us more in the extra speech and the 20 sessions/month of itinerant (I can't spell that) teacher there for Alec.

Stay tuned for the next post entitled "Our Camping Trip"... Now, that was a battle!