Meeting the Therapists

This week, my newly hired ABA therapists met Alec and spent a few hours getting to know him. Our educational consultant suggested that we ease into the program comfortably rather than jumping in and bombarding Alec with a lot of drills on the first day.

On Monday, our first therapist came over. (I need to ask them if I can use their first name here so I won't do that until I get a go-ahead.) Alec happened to be bouncing off of the walls that way. We still haven't figured out why we have such inconsistant days, but my guess is that he had an overload of pizza cheese on the days before. I still believe diet and possible allergies or intolerances have something to do with what is going on with him.

Alec seemed to have a very good time with the therapist. They played and had a lot of fun. He was a wild man, though! He was having a down day in his speech. She did a great job with him and I was very pleased with the session and looking forward to the weeks ahead as we learn more about the drills and the program.

On Tuesday, the second therapist came over for a similar getting-to-know-you session. This therapist has worked with an autistic child before and worked at a school which used ABA techniques in the U.K. She was simply wonderful with Alec. He was not as hyper as the day before, which was good, and she had an ease in working with him.

As I worked on my computer and listened, I hear Alec saying a few things I have not heard before. Before she had left, she had taught him to answer "I am good" when asked "How are you?" She also taught him her name! When she left, he told her "Goodbye, Miss _____!"

Needless to say, I was elated and Alec really seemed to enjoy both days. In fact, he is still answering "I am good" when asked how he is. I am blessed in that the little guy really does want to learn. Even though we have not gotten into the full extent of the ABA drills, I am encouraged and believe that it can be fun for him.

An especially good thing to note was that after the second day with my second therapist, Alec had his occupational therapy session. The OT therapist (and her assistant therapist) were amazed at how well Alec was doing! They said he seemed very focused and seemed to have much more control. Is there a connection? I'm hoping so!

Oh, I know there will be times when he doesn't want to work, but I am choosing to focus on his need to speak ... and obvious desire to learn about communication.

So, here we are! I'll continue to write as we get into the meat of the program. Right now, I am gathering materials to work and trying to attempt to organize his therapy time.

ABA is Underway!

Life is spinning here. We have officially launched the ABA program for Alec. I have great expectations and some anxiety: Will it work? What can we expect? Will he enjoy it? How much will he learn? How are we going to pay for this? (Only possible way to find answers: Just take each step day by day ...)

I posted an ad at two nearby universities and received a number of inquiries and resumes. I had wondered how difficult it would be in finding therapists who were willing to learn ABA and work with Alec, but actually, especially because we have two universities in town, I was very pleased with the responses.

The interviews went well and I hired two therapists. The first therapist scheduled began today and worked well with Alec. He laughed and enjoyed this more casual session. In fact, he is asleep right now. The session wore him out! The second therapist scheduled will begin tomorrow, and she has some great experience in ABA. I am excited to see how Alec is going to grow with both of these therapists.

Step two was the intake session with the educational consultant. That seemed to go very well too. We ended up with an easy-to-follow program. Now, the ABA process is not a blur to me. There is a plan of attack on this disorder! Targets assigned, programs determined, let's go!

The only thing left is to see what Alec thinks of all of this as we actually begin doing some of the ABA drills. This week, I just want him to get a chance to meet with the therapists.

Today, for the getting-to-know-you session with one therapist, Alec was really foggy. He was hyper and his language was all over the place. A definite difference over the norm. The only thing I can wonder about is that he has had a lot of cheese on pizza over the weekend. Could he really have an intolerance to milk? Hmmm. More questions.

Tomorrow Alec meets with the second therapist. I am interested in getting her opinion of the program and hearing what she has to say. The real action will begin next week, and especially after the October 16th seminar on ABA, which will review and refine the technique to the therapists and to us.

Here we go!

Taking a break.... Matt and me on the MS-150 Ride this past weekend. We are "Ridin' for Rachel", my sister who has been diagnosed with MS. The new developments and treatments for MS are making it easier to be the new mom that she is. Rachel's mother, Vickie, passed away with MS a few years ago. So did my grandfather back in the 70's, so it's a cause we believe in!

Table Wars

I've been hearing from other parents of ASD children that a typical behavioral problem many ASD kids have is that they do not want to sit down for meals. Add that to the fact that some are self-limiting in terms of what they eat, and suddenly you are faced with a battle.

Alec eats chicken nuggets, pizza, pretzels, chips, waffles, soy milk, juice, french fries and bacon. Occasionally some cereal. Let's see, what am I forgetting? Hmmmm. Nothing, I guess. He'll eat cookies sometimes, and ice cream once in a great while. No fruit. (Do fruit roll-ups count? I don't think so.) No veggies, save the potato in the fries, which is more of a starch.

Often, I can't even get him to eat the more nutritious items of that list, the chicken nuggets or the pizza, because he won't sit down to eat. He CAN, he just WON'T.

So, yesterday, I decided to dress for the battle. He was scrounging for pretzels and junk food around four in the afternoon, so I quickly fixed chicken nuggets and french fries and sat him down. He started to get up. I said, "If you take one bite, you can get up." (This was an easy offer. I thought it too easy, but I was wrong.) Alec's a good manipulator, and he did not want to do what I was asking, even though he will eat those two items. He preferred to walk around with a bowl of pretzels, eating as he wished.

As Alec tried to slide off of his chair, I put my hand on the seat and wouldn't budge. The tears began. "Alec, if you take one bite, then you can get up."

The tears because wails. I stayed calmed. It was a warm day in Sept., with all of the windows up to let in the air. Unfortunately, that also left all the neighbors privy to the table war going on inside our house.

Alec stood his ground with fierce screaming and wails. It sounded like I was torturing him, but I was only preventing him from sliding off of his seat. I have never heard such screaming!

As a few minutes turned to 5, then 10, then 15 and 20 and the screaming escalated, I began to worry: What are the neighbors going to think! The police will be showing up at my door any minute ...

Elise, my super helper, sat at the table eating her ravioli. I explained to her that I was not hurting Alec, just trying to get him to take one bite of his chicken or fries. She offered to help by demonstrating to Alec what I wanted with her last bite of ravioli.

"Elise, take one bite, and then you can get up." She did, smiled and got up. "Great job, Elise!" I said. Alec screamed on.

I began to hear in his screams that he was trying to talk to me. He was saying what sounded to me like "it's okay....it's okay", something I say to him when I am comforting him. With a mom's intuition, I thought that he wanted to know that he was not a bad boy, even though I was standing my ground. He was reaching out for comfort. He was confused.

I tried something new: "Alec, it's okay. You're a good boy. Momma loves you. Do you want up?"

"Oh, yeah!" Alec yelled.

"Then take one bite, and you can get up." More crying from Alec. I repeated this about three times, all the while praying God, let him understand. Help me here to stand my ground.

Suddenly, Alec picked up a piece of chicken...and took a bite.

"YEA, ALEC! GREAT JOB! GOOD BOY!" I cried out. He got the biggest, most wonderful smile on his face. I hugged him and slathered him with cheers. It had been nearly 25 minutes of screaming. "You can get up! Good boy!"

When I pulled the chair out for him to get up, the most wonderful thing happened. He motioned for me to put it back. He wanted to stay there and finish his food. He ate all of it. Every bite, all with the biggest smile on his face.

I sat there with him, showering him with attention, trying to show him how pleased I was that he had figured this out and was even enjoying the food.

Somehow, this battle was won...by not only me, but Alec as well. I still don't know what the neighbors thought with all of the intense screaming coming from the house. I guess I don't care, because my boy sat there and ate his food happily. I don't know what holds him back, but in my heart of hearts, I believe that Alec does want to do this, and that he does want help. He just doesn't know how to go and get it sometimes.

That's my job, with God's help, to lead him out of the confusion and pull him, in love, into the light of this life. There's so much for him here. Each day, we are a little closer. Every day, God brings a gift and a promise that we are on the right path.

Alec's biggest supporter: Sister Elise. It's amazing to see the bond between these two strengthen and grow daily. Elise is about the most compassionate, thoughtful and helpful sister Alec could ever have. When I consider my resources, Elise tops the list. She's a constant source of joy to all of us. Alec relies on her to lead the way through life's brand new adventures. Speaking of adventures, this is Elise on her first day of kindergarten. She was so excited to finally get to ride that yellow bus. 

Breakthrough!

I think...could it be?...that we've had a breakthrough today!

We were riding back from Alec's speech and combined OT session this afternoon, on the way to get Alec's sister Elise at the bus stop. Alec was tired from the session and it was a good time for a nap.

I gave him his blanket and his pacifier on the way home. (I know, he still uses it....). On the way, he dropped the pacifier on the floor. He said "Dropped.....hooey." (That's what he calls his pacifier.) I thought this was great, but the really heart-clencher came next:

Alec said to me, "Can... you...get...it?"

I about lost it! That is his first spontaneous sentence that was comprised of words he put together on his own. He has phrases that he will recite from memory, like "I want juice", and I know he knows what these phrases mean and what they will get him, but those phrases consist of words he has memorized together.

This time Alec chose his own words and put them together himself, using them correctly. WAY TO GO, Alec!

Wow! Now, being the over-analytical mom I am, I am trying to figure out, "What is it that's working? What has caused this improvement?"

No, I think I'll just be happy today. Alec IS making progress. I can keep on dreaming about the day we can talk together, and finally, find out the wonderful secrets that are going on in that tussled little head of his.

Oh, yes, thanks to God, who IS listening!

Doin' the Park at Negative Warp Speed

Tonight I took Alec and Elise, my five year old, to the park. It's a park with big play equipment and always a lot of kids running around. Everyone is in warp speed, climbing, skipping, and running. Everyone but Alec.

Sometimes, it's hard to watch him there. He can do about everything at the park ... climb the highest ladder and slide down, navigate the rope climbs, the play rock, the bouncing bridges that traverse different sections of the equipment. I am very thankful for that.

But...Alec is so much slower than the other kids! Even the little ones. He carefully thinks out every move. Often, he hangs onto my hand with all of his might, mustering up courage to give something a go. It's hurts my heart sometimes to watch him, wishing that he could run and keep up with the other kids his age. He's a big, strong boy but there are some sensory things going on that keeps him back. It's at times like that when I am so confused, trying to figure out exactly what is going inside of him, wishing I could understand.

It's those times that I really have to rely on my faith. When I just don't understand, I just have to trust. I can always look back over my life, all of the things that didn't make sense at the time, and see how much God was really in control. I'm thankful for that and I believe that. He has never let me down, and I know that He won't let me down in taking care of Alec. I pray every night that Alec will be everything that God wants him to be, and I know He will.

I love the time when Alec does run. He really is a happy little kid! He can do so much. Maybe this journey will be a slow one, a little harder for him than most kids, but maybe that difficulty will make him enjoy life all the more. I feel like that. I love those kids with all of my heart. Each day is a blessing, a gift.

Alec loves pretzels! (...but not much else...)