Laying Every Burden Down

Life has been getting harder lately. It’s not really Alec, but more of the overwhelming tasks and responsibilities that Matt and I are dealing with right now.

Things sneak up on us. Work, volunteering, doctors, appointments, maintaining the home. Suddenly our time is gone and there is nothing left.

For example, I really like to work on scrapbooks. It’s my way of just zoning out all the things I have to do and working creatively to celebrate all the blessings of life, like family, my kids, Matt. I have not scrapped a page since early fall! But I find myself thumbing through scrapbooking magazines for a few moments at a time. All I can do it take a few moments to think about doing something creative for myself. I don’t have time to actually do it.

I think something is really messed up about that. Why is it that life bombards us with so much to do? In the volunteering, school assignments not to mention an incredibly busy season with my part-time job, it’s a constant struggle to maintain our priorities. Not just a struggle, a war. Our mailboxes are stuffed with solicitations. The televisions blare, even while most times no one is even paying attention anymore. I rarely have a moment to just sit down and watch a television show.

Or write in this blog, as I so enjoy.

I read a recent article about adult ADD. We are multi-tasking so much that we can’t even focus anymore. I feel that way, too. Does anyone else? What is going on? What is so wrong?

Even in the good things we do, I find that my precious time with my family is eroding away. It takes a daily check of priorities to keep a balance in life.

This past week was rough. I have volunteered too much at a time when my workload is way up. There were school visits. I was gone Tuesday night and Thursday night for church commitments. This weekend, I sang the Saturday night service and two services on Sunday. Following the second service, I had a rehearsal for another singing engagement. On Sunday night, Matt and I were to lead our life group, a bible study group that has helped us tremendously.

By the time I walked in the door on Sunday afternoon, however, I found my daughter in red-faced and crying on the stairs, my husband irritated that the kids were not behaving, the house a wreck (Matt had been plowing through two weeks’ worth of ever-depressing bills and mail and mowing a badly overgrown lawn), and things basically a mess. It was time to scream “ENOUGH!”

So, I called our very understanding and supportive life group and let them know we were not coming that night. They offered prayer and we accepted. Instead, we just stayed together as a family. We went to the grocery. We ate. We watched an hour of television, but we did it together. We rested.

But morning came. In the few moments before my feet hit the floor, I remembered all that I needed to do, and that crushing overwhelmed feeling came back. I didn’t want to get out of bed. But, I did. I dressed them, I fed them, I packed lunches and book bags, made two types of waffles (gluten free and regular), and syrup (which over boiled all over the stove and under the burners everywhere) and sent off Alec with Matt. Elise missed the bus (of course) so I drove her to school.

And as I pulled back into the driveway afterward, I did what I needed to do all along. I laid every single burden down to Christ. There is something in my heart that tells me that it doesn’t need to be this way. That I’m struggling too much. I was reminded of this verse from Matthew 11:28-30:

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke fits perfectly, and the burden I give you is light.’ "

It is so amazing that even good responsibilities can rob us of the blessings that God intends for us, like peace of mind, a home where you can rest, and time to enjoy the simplest things of life, and the time to enjoy our own children, that God calls “a gift from the Lord; they are a reward.”

What does it mean to lay every burden down? Well, for me it means to ask God to direct my day. To ask Him to show me what is really important (like writing this post!), to shut my mind to distractions, because they will come, even if it means turning off my cell phone for a time. It means allowing myself to be imperfect. If I lose an assignment or task, then God must not want me to have that particular responsibility anyway. Even yesterday, I got a call saying that two nights that I had scheduled to sing were cancelled. Instead of being irritated, I realize that God is clearing my schedule for me. So, I can now enjoy my family on those nights.

And it’s a daily struggle to keep everything at bay. When I need help, I have to have the humility to ask for it. I’d rather everyone think I can handle everything, but I know I can’t. Asking for help is hard.

As I sat in my driveway after taking my daughter to school, I let the tears fall, only for a moment, and I laid every burden down, saying “Here they are, God, all of my needs, hopes and desires. I’ve made a mess of most of them. But they are yours now.”

I heard that soft, quiet voice inside say “I’ve got them. Just watch now…”

There is a song written and performed by Kathryn Scott, called “At the Foot of the Cross (Ashes to Beauty)”:

At the foot of the Cross;
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me Your love
Through the judgment You received
And You've won my heart; Yes, You've won my heart

Now I can trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down … At the foot of the Cross

That’s my song for today.