Giving Thanks in the Tough Times

November is nearing, and I can't help but think of how it represents changes: the death of the old and the hope of new birth. This year has been exactly that for Matt and me. When we received Alec's diagnosis of PDD-NOS, our whole world changed.

Our goals, priorities, finances, lifestyle ... everything changed. At first, we were stressed and worried about it all with many unanswered questions. A constant search for information followed, and still goes on, incidentally. It's easy to lose hope initially. To think that nothing will ever be the same again.

But now, just like the fall in it's message of death that also holds a promise of rebirth, I feel so differently about Alec's situation in life and about our lives, too. Each and every step forward fills my heart with so much joy. We now look at each day as a chance - an opportunity - to bring Alec closer to recovery. I can't tell you how many smiles we have had these last few months, just 10 months since our journey began.

Alec is making tremendous strides. The ABA is working with him, even though we have barely gotten it off of the ground. I have seen the light grow in him as language has begun to take shape in his life. Now he can ask for what he wants and tell us what he doesn't want. He can communicate. Seeing him smile when he has learned something new .... well, nothing can take the place of that joy.

As for Matt and me, our priorities and goals have changed, but not for the bad! We have a passion now for autistic children and their families. We know how they feel and want to help in any way we can, which, to be honest, is sometimes limited because we are putting the utmost emphasis on helping our son, too. Our lives have a new meaning and purpose. I have great hope for these kids! There is help, and treatment is possible.

We don't have all of the answers. We have so far to go! But the journey, in itself, is a blessing. We value what we have so much more now. We know we have been given a gift in the charge to help Alec become all that he was intended to be. We have faith that God will bring him to that, and will provide all that we need to get him there.

We will not casually overlook simple, everyday things in life, because some of those everyday tasks are accomplished with so much work.

Every parent of an autistic child has their own journey to make. Every journey is different than anothers. But how we perceive these challenges will, I believe, have a great impact in the overall progress of our children. It will also determine our own quality of life as parents as well.

Keep hoping, keep dreaming, keep believing ... and keep loving. Never give up. Never stop trying, because our kids are worth every effort.

Corinthians 13: 12: Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now. 13There are three things that will endure--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.

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Special note to Dave C.: I have responded to your email message, but Earthlink keeps bouncing back my message as SPAM. Any other way to contact you? I am receiving your email....

3, 2, 1....Lights Out!

Alec is downstairs crashed on the sofa. He is out, and no wonder. He has worked so hard today!

For four hours this morning, Alec worked with "Miss Julie", our lead ABA tutor. It's wonderful to see Alec working with Julie. He sits facing her at his working table as she goes through the flash cards and programs.

"Which do you drink, Alec?", Julie asks. Alec taps the right card and says "Drink!"
"Great job, Alec!", answers Julie, handing him a piece of a marshmellow. As she sets up for another round, Alec's little hand is sneaking towards the bowl of marshmellows. "Not yet! You have to work!" Julie instructs. You can't sneak anything past her, but Alec still tries.

Alec is a busy little worker during their session. I hide behind the door and smile. "I want Nemos!" Alec says, getting another response correct and properly requesting his desired treat.

I am very thankful to have her on board! I am so glad that Alec is making the progress that I am seeing. I am beginning to hear more in his speech, and it's encouraging.

He followed up his ABA session with an hour long combined speech and occupational therapy session. Running, jumping, rolling, smooshing, crawling, you name it. And all while concentrating on learning new ways to express himself.

I know there is so much going on in that little cute noggin of his! I long to hear him tell me what he is thinking and feeling. There is still such a purpose for this little one, I just know it!

We, Alec's team, have the ABA Seminar to attend with the Parker Autism Foundation this Saturday. Hopefully, we will fine-tune the ABA process and be steps closer towards Alec's recovery.

39

Okay, so now I am 39. How did this happen?

So, trying to be somewhat productive, I took a run this morning and thought about the past year. I used to have this ritual of going and watching the sun come up for each birthday, but kids and life got in the way of that, so this birthday the run will have to do.

At first, I began thinking about the plaguing thought that my metabolism has tanked so much over the past year. I decided mourning the ability to eat more was not a great way to start this time of reflection, so I thought instead about how far Alec has come in the past year.

I can remember how he was in January of 2004. He barely spoke a word. There were many tantrums, many times dragging him out of preschool over my shoulder as he angrily beat my back over just about anything. It's really been quite a year. So many challenges.

I remember how I felt when we received the PDD-NOS diagnosis back in May. The stunning slap of that reality as they handed out the autism pamphlets to Matt and me. I remember the dazed feeling we had walking out of that meeting, feeling like they had handed us a diagnosis and a handshake and sent us on our way.

I remember how I felt when I was told I'd have to have a shadow for Alec at his preschool, and how unfair I felt that was, and how hurt I felt that Alec should be "shunned".

And now, I realize what a blessing that was. That Alec has grown so much. That he is using more and more words each day.. correctly. That the tantrums are fewer. That he likes his early intervention class. That the ABA has shown great promise, and I know he is getting so much more help than he ever would have at preschool.

I think of his hugs and kisses, how social he is, and how blessed I am to have this family. I think of how I know God is with us, and how the future holds such a promise.

I am thankful today. Maybe not about the extra pounds (I am going to get them off by my fortieth!) but by this life, this adventure, I call my own.